Bone White, Blood Red
He’s gone into the pain. The bone white, blood red pain. He talked to his wife long enough to let her know he would survive the night, but he had to go back in to deal with the pain. The only thing in the outside world that he can see is the red light on the morphine drip. Watching for it to turn green so he can hit that button. But it’s not touching the pain.
He knows that tomorrow he’ll watch the sky lighten up and he will be outside the pain just a bit. He’ll smile as he tells the nurse about his dog. He’ll think of his wife and miss her but hopes she will stay home, enjoy her day and take his dog for a walk.
The next day he’ll be on top of the pain and start to think about getting all the tubes and needles out so he can go home. He’ll ask the therapist, “How many of these fucking stairs to I need to do so I can get out of here?” And he’ll find the strength to do them.
The day after that he’ll sit outside in the wheelchair while his wife brings the car around. He’ll feel the sun on his bones. He’ll listen to the birds sing. The contentment of being outside those walls will wash over him. Spring has arrived in the last four days just for him.
But right now, he’s gone into the pain.
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Tell me about this before I comment, ok? Origins of material, feeling while writing, difficulty of composition, reaction when done, evaluation of it in retrospect, anything along those lines.
ReplyDeleteMy husband had knee replacement surgery this week. If you've heard anything about it you know it's one of the most painful surgeries to endure. He had the other one done 2 years ago and had a lot of problems stemming from the surgery so we were concerned. He's home. It went much better this time. After I wrote the first story I went for a walk and this one formed in my head. It definitly is harder to watch someone you love in pain than it is to go through it yourself. I thought this one had more depth and feeling to it, yet kept the me out of it.
ReplyDeleteIt has more focus than the other one--there, you could let yourself off the leash. Here, you wanted to stick to facts and do justice to the actual situation.
ReplyDeleteI think that focus is reflected in the way you're using short sentences, each one bitten off before it can start speculating or wandering a bit.
What impresses me is how different the two are--one is loose, one is tight (both loose and tight are compliments here!) They both sound like you, the other one perhaps more, but you've certainly got more than one voice as a writer.